Old Lottomars Club Updates

& Interesting Mars Factoids


JULY 1999

JUNE 2002

JUNE 1999

APRIL 2002

 MAY 1999


 APRIL 1999


 MARCH 1999














Hello Everyone! I'd like to say, "I hope you had a good Summer," but some of you are in The Southern Hemisphere and just had your Winter, or you may be in The Tropics and just had a Wet or Dry Season. How about I just say, "I hope you had a good couple of months" since my last newsletter.

The Fantastic Lottomars Club is up to 135 loyal Members. We had one new person join up: Michael from Daytona Beach, Florida, USA. We have just enough people for a charter bus to Las Vegas for a week-end. . . after all, Las Vegas was first settled by Martians 63,000,000 years ago.

I won't be doing any fancy membership certificates anytime soon. That darn Adobe Acrobat program costs $250.00US! (Maybe I can do it with MS Publisher somehow)

I added a new page to the Lottomars site called, "The Idea." Also, I've renewed the Lottomars domain for another year ($35.00 CDN - cheap!) I'll be posting the 9/11 Special page on September 11, 2002, The page is there now, but it will be the only page on the site for that day. If you didn't see it last year - be sure to visit. If you want to send an email with your comments - I'll post them.

If you ever want to see just who the heck this semi-crazed Lottomars guy is. . . head over to my Homepage at http://www.lottomars.com/poulin/default.htm - have a look at my Internet Photo Albums if you've got a lot of time, as I have over 1300 pictures posted.



Have those pesky Martians sucked out your brain and spinal cord and you haven't noticed? Find out for sure at IQ Test: http://www.emode.com/tests/uiq/authorize/register.jsp?url=/tests/uiq/index.jsp Interesting & tricky!


Bye for now, Dale


Hello Everyone! The Fantastic Lottomars Club is still here & still going strong! We even got three new Members since the last time I wrote an update; Shyam from New Jersey, USA, Dave from Arizona, USA & Gavin from Tirol, Austria. We're up to 134 Members, there's a few dead email addresses, but this is still enough people to start our own day-time TV Soap Opera.

There's been no real changes to the Lottomars Website - except I did hide a short .avi video clip of myself on the site somewhere. . . I'm still looking into how to give all of you real fancy, super-duper,membership certificates. I've found out that it can be done with a program called Adobe Acrobat - I'll keep you posted on my progress.

Head over and have a look at the SETI@home project - http://www.seti.org/science/setiathome.html It's well worth taking part in, and _THEY_ have real fancy, super-duper, membership certificates.


It's not a Mars Factoid this time, but it's kind of fun. Head over to Gesellschaft University - http://www.angelfire.com/la2/funcollege/degreepage.html and get yourself a totally useless Degree. I got myself a Degree in VCR Tape Copying.

Take care everyone, and I'll see ya next 



Hello Everyone! There's not a lot to tell you this time; no new members & no changes to the site. I believe the lack of new people joining our club reflects a fundamental change in the way people use the Internet; "Surfing" has declined a great deal. I blame excessive advertising and those accursed "Pop-up" Boxes. It seems that I only go surfing on the Internet searching for some specific information. The Lottomars Site is down to about five visits per day. Three years ago we got 50 visits a day. But. . . hey! Who cares? Lottomars is about 5 years old now and that makes it one of the oldest sites around.  

I've had to stop using my "dpoulin@lottomars.com" email address. I was getting 50 to 60 junk emails everyday. . . some of it I don't want my Kids seeing! Even after setting up Outlook to automatically delete junk email, it just keeps coming. My Lottomars email is quite old. I've had it, on & off, since 1997. It looks like all the spammers in the World have the address on their lists by now. So, my new email is: dalekpoulin@shaw.ca


Send your name to Mars - http://spacekids.hq.nasa.gov/2003/ How can you resist? I couldn't!

Success! Your name has been entered into the Mars Name Disc list!

Note: Click on the link below to receive your certificate.

Set your printer to Landscape before printing the certificate.

Dale K. Poulin - Certificate No. 2468607

Head on over and add your name! It's free for Kids of all ages.

See you next time!




Hello Everyone! Sorry that I missed a month. (Thirty days has Sept. . .??) Boy, have I ever been busy! My work has been very demanding of late. But, I'm glad to be able to get this out to you this month.

There's no real Club news - no new members. Hey, you get out and spread the word! We need some new club memberships. I think I'll do some site promotion - but carefully! Boy! Did I ever learn not to give out my e-mail address just anywhere. . . You should see some of the very warped junk e-mail I get!

I did get my PC fixed-up. It took a re-format of my hard drive & re-load everything. That was scary because. . . I DID IT MYSELF! Yikes! It's kind of like giving yourself a hair cut; if you mess-up, it will take a long time to grow back.

I bought myself a new toy: an Intel Pocket PC Webcam. It's a lot of fun! I've been sending little .avi videos to my family & friends all over the World. It can be a webcam and I can take it anywhere for snapshots & 10 second videos. So, you'll probably see some video links on the Lottomars Site. The only trouble is that my poor old 233 Mhz Hyperclunker really slows down trying to do sound & video at the same time. There's a new PC in my future - soon I hope.

I bought MS FrontPage 2000 - with thanks to Tajh at www.blaze.ca It's a good program. I've done some updates to the Lottomars Site with it and will do more as I learn more.

I want you all to do me a favour - send an e-mail to my nephew Jason at: fenix_jp182@hotmail.com & tell him to join The Fantastic Lottomars Club. Thanks!



Cats are from Mars!

You've heard the whole, "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" routine before, right? Bet you never imagined it was just a "smokescreen" to throw you off the trail of the truth..... Cats Are From Mars! Masquerading as "finicky and solitary" earth creatures all these years, these wiley beings have been skillfully manipulating the human race for centuries, coaxing handouts, shredding furniture, cleansing their home planet of toxic waste cleverly disguised as "hairballs."

GO TO: http://www.catsarefrommars.com/ for the whole story.

See you next month!

Dale K. Poulin - dpoulin@lottomars.com
"If wishes were fishes, we'd all be casting nets."


Hello Everyone, sorry I'm so late getting this to you this month. "Life is time consuming" (Hey, not bad. I just made that up.) There's 
not much in the way of club news - no new members in the last month. My PC is still semi-kaput & I can't publish to the web - so there's 
been no changes to the Lottomars site in a while. I may have to beg Tajh at Blaze http://www.blaze.ca for tech help, "please, please, 
beg on my knees." I may buy a new computer soon - my 233 MMX Hyperclunker is getting a little old. I have MS Office 2000 - 
small business now, just installed this week and I LIKE IT! Thanks go out to Craig Murchie of I. T. Sysco - http://www.itsysco.com

Hey, head over and see what club member Brian from Kansas is up to: http://www.funkygnome.com


Life on Mars? Scientists have proof! Photo of mouse on Mars: http://naute.com/images/marsmouse.jpg

See ya all next month!

Dale K. Poulin - dpoulin@lottomars.com
Visit Lottomars - http://www.lottomars.com

See past Lottomars Club Updates & Interesting
Mars Factiods at: http://www.lottomars.com/updates.htm

LOTTOMARS UPDATE - October 2001 
I sent you all the last Lottomars Club Update on September 10, 2001. When I awoke the next day, 
the world had been changed. I shut down the Lottomars site for a week and posted this page: 
http://www.lottomars.com/91101.htm My heart goes out to all those who have suffered the loss 
of loved ones. I can't understand any of the horrific events of 9/11/01 - it is to much. Why 
do such things? You know something. . . I'll never understand. But I do have something to say 
about the fate of those responsible for crashing those airplanes and sent that anthrax in the 
mail: "Those who show no mercy, shall receive no mercy." This was said by the Prophet Mohammed, 
in Medina, long ago. It's very appropriate today. You probably know I live in North Vancouver, BC 
Canada. Most Lottomars Club Members are from the USA. Now Canada is helping our good friend and 
neighbour, the USA , with troops, planes, and ships that are on their way to Afghanistan. This is 
very unusual, because the Canadian military are usually used as UN Peacekeepers. Perhaps our leaders 
see that there will be no peace to keep until these terrorists are stopped. Our Club has Members 
in New York City and I hope they are well. The regular Lottomars Club Update and Interesting Mars 
Factoid will be back next month. 
Dale K. Poulin 
Visit Lottomars: http://www.lottomars.com

LOTTOMARS CLUB UPDATE - September 2001 (September 10, 2001)

Hello Loyal Lottomars Club Members & my Friends and Family. Well. . . ROCK & ROLL. . . The Fantastic Lottomars Club is back! After 19  months roaming the cyberspace hinterlands, I again own the domain: www.lottomars.com - with very special thanks to Stanley Tobiason III

After over a year of working on Website for the Insurance Agency where I  work, I've learned that British Columbians would rather hit themselves in the knee with a Ball Pein Hammer, than buy insurance over the Internet. Because of this dismal fact, my employers   definitely do not wish to pay for any of my Website efforts. So, I've scaled back my efforts there to basically a Greeting Card. So, I've won my freedom from the dark (commercial) side of the Web. Now can get back to my Lottomars Site, it's a lot more fun.

Something strange has happened. Lottomars has become more popular all over the world. Even after being essentially gone for almost two years! There are now over 5600 direct links to The Lottomars Site out there in Hyperspace. The Site gets more hits than ever. A lot of people looking for Lotteries end up at the Lottomars Site. . . I wonder why?? A couple of people managed to join-up recently even though I was just working on & testing the site. I'm going to continue promoting the club all over the World. Hey. . . we don't have any members from China yet!

I'm going to start working on some new stories:

* Henry Ford and the Martians.

* The Martians worked for Alexander Graham Bell.

* National Geographic Society on Mars.

There is one new page on the site called: "The Marco Polo Game." Check it out!

I got back my old e-mail address: dpoulin@lottomars.com after 19 months of inactivity - there was over 1400 e-mail messages waiting for me. . . where they've been waiting, I have no idea. (it was almost all Spam)

The good old Lottomars site is still much the way it was - kind of like an "Old Time Internet" site with no advertising on it. Now I can do a little experimenting. . . Java & Flash stuff mostly - So, good stuff to follow.

I'll keep you posted, okay?

------------------------------------------------------------------------ --------------------------------------------------


From the BBC NEWS - Wednesday, 6 June, 2001, 10:33 GMT 11:33 UK

No women on Mars trip

A Russian mission to Mars could take place in 20 years

By BBC News Online science editor Dr David Whitehouse

Women are likely to be barred from any Russian mission to Mars because they would increase the "probability of conflicts" among the crew, says a Russian space official. Anatoly Grigoryev, Director of the Institute of Medical and Biological Problems, says that such a mission, if funded, could take place between 2015-2020, but there would be many potential problems. Among them is the composition of the crew for the three-year mission. According to Dr Grigoryev there would be four or five people going: a commander, a pilot, a doctor and scientists. But probably no women. Dr Grigoryev says that a single-sex crew is likely to be more "serene" with a lower probability of conflicts. See the whole story at: http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/sci/tech/newsid_1371000/1371037.stm

Well. . .I don't think this guy is happily married.

------------------------------------------------------------------------ --------------------------------------------------

That's all for now, Kids. To my Lottomars Club members - see ya next month!

If you're not a member yet, what the heck are you waiting for? Head over to: http://www.lottomars.com and join-up!

Warm regards, Dale

Dale Poulin - dpoulin@lottomars.com
The Lottomars Club: http://www.lottomars.com

If you wish to unsubscribe from the fantastic Lottomars Club monthly up-date & interesting Mars factoid, send a fresh e-mail to dpoulin@lottomars.com with:" I'm a sissy and I wish to Chicken-Out" as the subject - I'll then complete some minor voodoo rituals that will make you slightly itchy for 63 days. . . and remove you from my miniscule mailing list.


Hello Everyone!

The Fantastic Lottomars Club now has 127 loyal members - I believe this is a prime number.

Now. . . I have good news and I have bad news.


The Lottomars Internet Radio Show is finished! You can head over to: http://www.givemetalk.com to listen to the show & a lot of other people's productions - the Lottomars Show is on page two, or look in the Science Section. I had fun making the show and I hope you like it.



After spanning two different Millennia, entertaining thousands of hopelessly lost Internet Surfers, and collecting a grand total of $12.00(US) for a Manned Mission to Mars, the time has regretfully come for the end of Lottomars. At the end of January 2000 the Fantastic Lottomars Club will effectively end. I will instruct my loyal Internet Service Provider, Blaze Telecommunications, to "pull the plug" on Lottomars. I will not renew with InterNic, the domain: www.lottomars.com

At the end of January I'll send you all a copy of the $12.00(US) Money Order that I'm sending to NASA - this will surely confuse the hell out of them. I've learned over the last couple of years that NASA has absolutely no sense of humor whatsoever! But they get the cash anyway.

Any of you are welcome to take over the Club if you wish - I'll "sign over" the domain name to you. But you have to build your own Site and sign up your own new members - I keep my beloved Lottomars Site. I built it & wrote everything that's in it. It will still remain on the Web as a hidden part of my new Site: http://www.trail.blaze.ca - but "deactivated." If you have a Site with links to Lottomars - http://www.lottomars.com - this will be a dead link after January 31, 2000.

Yes, it's true. I've gone over to the dark (commercial) side of the Web. I'm going to use all the knowledge and experience I've gain in the last few years to make money! Yes! I want to earn money while I'm sleeping.



If any of you signed up for a Lottomars E-mail account: yourname@lottomars.com - this service will also end January 31, 2000. There are plenty of free Internet E-mail services out there: Yahoo Mail, Hotmail, Home.com, Go Network - you'll have no problem finding a replacement service.



I will not give out your membership information to anyone. I will keep your E-mail addresses on file, as I would like to send you all Holiday Season Greetings & I may let you know the new secret location of the Old Lottomars Site. If you do wish me to delete your info entirely, send an E-mail to: dale@trail.blaze.ca with your instructions.

Remember to go listen to my Lottomars Show at: http://www.givemetalk.com

I thank all of you for taking part in The Fantastic Lottomars Club - it's been fun.

Yours very truly,

Dale K. Poulin

Lottomars Club Update - October 1999.

Hi everyone! Our Club is now up to 117 Loyal Members. That's enough to approach Buckingham Palace in England to see if Queen Elizabeth will host a Garden Party in honor of us achieving such a vast membership.

You will probably have noticed that there was no advertising or Banner Ads on the Lottomars Site. I just finished doing an experiment. . . I knew the Lottomars Site was getting about 10 visits a day, as the first page has a hidden counter on it. What I did was put a Banner Ad on the third page "in" on the Site, and tracked the "hits" on that page. It was only 1 or 2 hits per day! So, I did quite a change to the Lottomars Site. I figured out how to use "Frames". Pull my finger! It was HARD! I felt like I had received a Lobotomy and no one told me about it. NO WHERE in my manual does it say "make the new Frame Page the default (start) page. I did figure it out, and the Site is now a lot easier to get around in. Even though I detest advertising, I may stick in a few Banner Ads as another test to see if visits increase. Hey, I figure - if they want to advertise on the Web, surfing should be free - like TV.

I use MS FrontPage 98 for Lottomars and Internet Explorer to view the Site - So, I would really appreciate an e-mail from any of you that use Netscape. Let me know how the Site looks with your Browser.

I've got that GiveMeTalk Internet Radio "Lottomars Show" completed and I'm waiting for further instruction from them. I enjoyed making the program and I hope all of you will "tune in" when the time comes to do the show - I'll keep you all posted.

Gazooks, it's been quite a Month! I'd been having some problems with my PC. So decided to bite the bullet, have my hard drive formatted, reload Windows 98 and all my drivers. I have backed up all my data. It worked great - like a new PC. I even bought a new 17 inch monitor. But, when I fired-up my PC with my new monitor for the first time, my PC quit working - PERIOD. Windows wouldn't load and my emergency start-up diskette didn't work either. Took the PC back for repairs. . . first - they said I needed a new hard drive. Then they said no, it's the motherboard. Finally, they said it's the __Processor__!! Yes, my Cyrix 233MX Main Processor bit the dust. The Tech Guy said it's so unusual - almost never happens! Anyway, they replaced the Cyrix with a Intel Pentium 233MX. Oh, what a difference! I think that darn Cyrix chip was defective all along and was the real cause of all the problems I had all last year.

I learned two important lessons: 1 - always back-up my data. 2 - always go mainstream (Intel)

I found a really great little free program called "Gator" it remembers all your user names & passwords - fills them in for you, and you can use it to fill in forms too. Head over to: http://www.gator.com and check it out.


Science Joke of the Month


There were these two Engineers who decided they would go moose hunting in the backwoods of British Columbia. As it happened, they lucked out and got a moose. Unfortunately, they were about a mile from their truck. They were having a tough time dragging the animal by the hind legs when a Wildlife Biologist happened upon them.
He said, "You know, the hair follicles on a moose have a grain to them that causes the hair to lie toward the back. The way you are dragging that moose, it increases your coefficient of friction by a huge margin. If you grab it by the antlers and pull, you will find the work required to be quite minimal."
The Engineers thanked him and started dragging the moose by the antlers. After about an hour, one Engineer said, "I can't believe how easy it is to move this moose this way. I sure am glad we ran across that Biologist."
"Yeah.", said the other. "But we're getting further and further away from our truck."

So long everybody - see you all next month.

Dale Poulin

Lottomars Club Update – September 1999.

This E-mail is going out to a lot of people: all my friends & Family. About a thousand contacts at http://www.sixdegrees.com got a similar letter, and of course, now all of the Lottomars Club Members.

Hello Everyone! We are now up to 111 devoted club members and there are 97 Lottomars E-mail accounts out there someplace. We’re getting up there! Almost enough people to form a Political Party. Can you imagine: "The Lottomars Worldwide Reform Party?" (this is good stuff, I’ll use it to build a new page on the site)

In one of the updates from a few months back, I told you all about an Internet "Radio" Broadcasting Site. I was very interested in doing a Lottomars Club "Webcast." So, at this Site called "Talk Net Radio" I signed up to be one of the first to Broadcast for their big kick-off. What this involves, I’m not too sure. . . but I said I wanted to do a show about Lottomars and how the Club came to be. Guess what?

Reply-To: <ted@givemetalk.com>
From: "Ted Ganchiff" <ted@givemetalk.com>
To: <pioneer@givemetalk.com>
Subject: You've been selected for the GiveMeTalk! Pioneer Program!
Date: Fri, 17 Sep 1999 18:30:59 -0700

Congratulations! Your recent submission to the GiveMeTalk! Web site has been
selected for GiveMeTalk!'s Net Radio Pioneer
program. Your program will be featured during our upcoming launch, and will
be exposed to tens of thousands of listeners worldwide. GiveMeTalk! will
also promote programs through online and traditional media.

You will be receiving detailed instructions on how to produce and promote
your program soon. Many of our broadcasters are using this time to develop
their program content and materials -- please visit the expert interviews on
our Web site for guidance in how to start developing your idea into a
top-quality radio program. Again, we congratulate you on being a part of
Internet history. You may be the next Internet talk radio star!

You will be receiving your Pioneer passwords and tools information soon.
We're looking forward to your show....

GiveMeTalk -- The Talk of the Internet!
Visit us at http://www.givemetalk.com

Iíve been picked! Gulp. . . so Iíll try my best to put together a "Webcast" about Lottomars thatís entertaining and 
informative (and funny, I hope!) 

To be able to receive a broadcast from me through GiveMeTalk, you have to go to their Site and sign up to get the 
program that lets you "receive" broadcasts.  So head over to http://www.givemetalk.com 

Iíll let you know: "How? When? & Where? ASAP.

Please let everyone you know thatís on the Web about this. Also, I would really appreciate any help or 
suggestions from you guys. Iíve never done anything like this before, but I sure gonna have some fun doing:

The Lottomars Show

Interesting Mars Factoid

Sadly, the Interesting Mars Factoid has ended. The Factoid is now replaced by:

Lottomars Science Joke of the Month

It's common practice in England to ring a telephone by signaling extra voltage across one side of the two wire circuit and ground (earth in England). When the subscriber answers the phone, it switches to the two wire circuit for the conversation. This method allows two parties on the same line to be signaled without disturbing each other. Anyway, an elderly lady with several pets called to say that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called; and that on the few occasions when it did ring her dog always barked first. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog. He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring. He tried again. The dog barked loudly, followed by a ringing telephone. Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

Which shows you that some problems can be fixed by just pissing on them.

See you all next month, Dale

Lottomars Club Update - August 1999

Hello everyone! Sorry that I'm so late getting this letter to you all, but I've been very busy. I semi-manually changed all Club info to a different database. Our membership is now up to 103 loyal members - enough people for a fun bar-b-que. The member from Australia can bring the shrimp. Hey! What a camera shy bunch you all are. . . only Jen/81 got her photo in the Lottomars Members Photo Album. Get your photos in, or I'll scan in some real goofy photos and say it's you!

This e-mail that I received is the update for this month. . .

From: CEgers7000@aol.com

Date: Thu, 12 Aug 1999 19:38:12 EDT

Subject: No Subject

To: dpoulin@lottomars.com


I am a producer in Los Angeles working on a one-hour special for FOX

Television entitled, "World's Wildest Web Sites." We are interested in

featuring "Lottomars" our show.

Do you have any video or done any TV. interviews about your site?

Please contact me to discuss further. I can be reached at: (310) 207-3577.

Thank you!

Cheryl Egers


I phoned Cheryl, told her that I didn't have any video, and gave her permission to include us in her show. She promised to let me know when this show will be on TV, but couldn't say for sure if Lottomars will be in the show. I will keep all of you informed of any developments. Maybe I'll have to let http://www.blaze.ca - my ISP, know about this, the Lottomars site could start getting 63,000,000 hits a day!

Help Cheryl out and e-mail her your selection for "World's Wildest Web Sites."

Have a look at McAfee's Site: http://www.mcafee.com

They have a great site for taking care of your PC. I recommend that you visit.

Interesting Mars Factoid

"Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe." Vice President Dan Quayle, 8/11/89

I try not to criticize, or make fun of anyone. But, perhaps we should make former Vice President (USA) Dan Quayle the honorary Vice President of the Lottomars Club.

So long everyone, see you next month.



Hi Everyone! Our Club is still doing great. As you all know, we made it past the mystical 100 members mark. Hopefully you can put those "Day Off" certificates to good use! We are now up to 101 proud members. Also there are now 95 @lottomars.com Email address out there in cyberspace. Only 3 people have signed up to get the Listbot Lottomars Monthly letter.

I found a very useful little program called RoboForm. You program in your name, address, Email, and other similar info once. The next time you run into a form to fill out, you just right click, choose RoboForm, and the form is automatically filled in with your particulars - check it out: http://www.misto.kiev.ua/roboform/

I've changed the way I send out Email to you all. I no longer list out everyone's full name. You will get your mail from me with just your first name & membership number. For example: Dale/105 The reason for this change is only to protect your privacy.

Now, all of you have been laying back, enjoying the fantastic benefits of being a member of the Lottomars Club, without actually having to do anything. That's got to change! I often wonder about all of you. . . as I've said before, you are from all over the world. But I actually know very little about all of you. A few of you have Homepages, so I've seen photos of a couple of members. Well, that's what's going to change, with:

The Lottomars Club Members Photo Album.

Yes, I've started a photograph album that all of you can download and/or Email a photo to, at:


There's also links on Lottomars to get you to the album. So send in your photos! It's easy - instructions are at the Site, or you can Email them to me, and I'll put your photo in the album. I want to see what all of you look like! Don't be chicken! Hey, my photo is there now, and I know I'm not pretty! Besides, I'm going to keep bugging each and every one of you until you all get your picture in the Lottomars Album!

Oh ya, check out: http://www.zing.com you may want to build your own online photo album or get their Zing viewer, which is enjoyable to have.


This has nothing to do with Mars really, other than that Mars used to be considered the God of War (by the Romans, I think)

THE MOST UNUSUAL BIRTH OF ALL (from The Book of Lists 2. 1980 edition)

The November 7, 1874, issue of the American Medical Weekly related a bizarre episode which began during the American Civil War’s Battle of Raymond in Mississippi on May 12, 1863. According to Dr. T.G. Capers of Vicksburg, a soldier friend of his was hit in the scrotum by a bullet, which carried away his left testicle. The same bullet apparently penetrated the left side of the abdomen of a 17-year-old girl in a nearby house. Two hundred and seventy eight days later, the young girl gave birth to a healthy 8-lb. boy "to the surprise of herself and to the mortification of her parents and friends." Three weeks later, Dr. Capers operated on the infant and removed a smashed miniball. He concluded that this was the same ball that had carried away the testicle of his young friend; it had the penetrated the ovary of the young lady and - with some spermatozoa on it - impregnated her. With this conviction he approached the young man and told him the circumstances; the soldier appeared skeptical at first, but consented to visit the young mother; a friendship ensued which soon ripened into a happy marriage. The couple had three more children, none of whom resembled their father as closely as the first.

So long everyone, see you next month!


To unsubscribe from this newsletter, you must:

1. Correctly tell me how many time the word "Mars" appears in the entire Lottomars Site.

2. Bring me a soil and/or gas sample from the nine known planets in our Solar System.

3. Place a live Narwhale at the center of the Sun & supply me with a videotape of the event.



Hello Everyone! Our club is up to the fantastic total of 97 loyal members!
We will reach the century mark soon. Perhaps we should declare a special
holiday for this great event. We should all get a day off work and/or
school. I'll sent out a special notice that you can give to your employers
or teachers, authorizing a day off.

We have five new members from the Philippines join up.

Follow this link: http://www.filipino.com/  to learn more about this great

I've not made any changes to the Lottomars Website in the last month. I'm
working on another project right now. It's a "Corporate Presence" Website
for an Insurance Agency. It will be slightly more. . . conservative than the
Lottomars Site.

The Lottomars Mailroom is doing well. There's about 37 different
@lottomars.com e-mail addresses out there now. Not bad for only the first
month. Some of them are strange. . . it looks like someone has used about
ten @lottomars.com e-mail addresses for some kind of commercial purpose.
Well. . . who cares!

I found a very useful Site: @Backup. They will let you backup up to ten
megabytes of data over the Internet to their Site for Free. I backup the
Lottomars Site there every night. For $100.00(US) a year they will backup
100 megabytes for you.

Check it out at: http://lite.backup.com/VID101.3.961890.0/


Travel Advice

>From the American Museum of Natural History's Website:

"Mars Gazette."

Q: I am planning a trip to Mars. Can you please tell me what kind of weather
to expect?

A: You certainly do plan ahead. The first human visit is not expected to
take place before 2019. As for the weather, it's cold. On average, Mars is
about 50 percent farther away from the Sun than the Earth is. What's more,
its very thin atmosphere cools off rapidly at night. Although it can get as
hot as 22 degrees C (72 degrees F) at the equator in summer, temperatures
below freezing are more typical. In winter, the thermometer may dip as low
as -125 degrees C (-194 degrees F). The atmospheric pressure is less than 1%
of Earth's and there's no oxygen. So you'll need a spacesuit

It's also very windy. Expect winds exceeding 160 kilometers (100 miles) per
hour. Blinding dust storms, which sometimes last for months, can make travel
and sightseeing a challenge. But you don't have to worry about rain.
Although it is often cloudy in low-lying areas in the morning, the haze
burns off during the day. If Mars resembles any place on Earth, it would be
the dry valleys of Antarctica.

One last word: Although you won't need an umbrella, you will need sunglasses
and sunscreen, the most powerful you can find. The Martian atmosphere has no
ozone layer to protect the surface from the Sun's ultraviolet rays.

Q: I am going to Mars for a month. What sites should I be sure to see while
I'm there?

A: Mars is a fabulous place, with dramatic landscapes and geological
formations on a grander scale than any known on Earth. Although Mars is
smaller than our home planet, its surface area is about the same as the dry
land area of Earth. Remember, over two thirds of the Earth's surface are
covered by oceans, whereas Mars has no liquid water on its surface at all.

There's so much to see on Mars that it's hard to single out just a few
sights. Top on our list, however, would be a trip to Tharsis Province, an
area about the size of the United States in the Martian northern hemisphere.
There you'll find Mount Olympus (Olympus Mons), a stupendous extinct volcano
surrounded by sheer cliffs. The summit is 27 kilometers (nearly 17 miles)
above the planet's baseline surface elevation. That's three times higher
than Mount Everest is above sea level.

If you like volcanoes, Tharsis is a great place to visit. East of Olympus,
you'll find Ceraunius Tholus, a smallish volcano that appears to be the
youngest on the planet. And to the southeast is a line of three enormous
craters: Arsia, Pavonis, and Ascraeus. All of the Martian volcanoes are now
extinct, but they were active at a time, deep in the planet's past, when the
planet's surface was warmer, and there was liquid water and possibly even

Nearby are the Mariner Valleys (Valles Marineris), a system of canyons that
stretches 5,000 kilometers (3,000 miles) eastward, dwarfing Earth's Grand
Canyon. No whitewater rafting here, though. In fact, there is no running
water at all on Mars. Unlike the Grand Canyon, the Mariner Valleys were not
cut by a great river. They were made by tectonic forces from inside the
planet, which stretched and cracked the surface. There were apparently
meandering rivers on Mars at one time, though, and you might see some dry
riverbeds formed from flowing water long ago.

If you have time to visit one of the poles, try to go when it is summer
there. That's your best chance to see the water ice cap, which is hidden
beneath the dry ice cap at other times of the year. In the warmer weather,
the dry ice cap shrinks, as the frozen carbon dioxide changes to gas,
exposing the water ice beneath it. For reasons no one yet understands, more
dry ice remains at the warmer south pole than at the colder north one.
Perhaps you'll be able to find out why if you go there.

The good news is that if you can stay an entire Martian year, you'll have
687 days to explore the planet. The bad news is that you might find it hard
to get around. The only vehicle on the planet is the rover Sojourner, which
is about the size of a microwave oven and travels at about 24 meters (80
feet) per hour.

Ha! In a hundred years from now we'll have all of Mars teraformed so that it
will have a climate like Southern California. Plus, we'll probably be able
to teleport there in an instant for around $50.00(US) If not. . . well, you
may want to visit Disneyland instead of Mars!

So long for now. See ya all next month!



Hi Everyone! I know you've all been waiting with baited breath and nervous anticipation since my last letter. Your wait is over. Total membership is up to 82, or .00000000163th of Earth's population. This is where you are all from:

* USA = 51

* Canada = 16

* England = 5

* Portugal = 3

* Pakistan = 1

* Malaysia = 1

* Australia = 1

* Cyprus = 1

* Panama = 1

* Korea = 1

* Singapore = 1

Hmm. . . no one from China, I'll have to do some promotion there!

Hey, we'll just keep crusing along. We've got $11.00(US) in the Bank, only $4,999.999.989.00(US) left to raise before we talk to NASA.

I ran across something on the Web you may have heard about: Neoplanet I've been to their site a few times, but was to scared to try their product. Like, "Don't mess with my Browser, Man!" About two weeks ago I downloaded IE5 and had nothing but grief with it. The e-mail program was slower than a turtle OD'd on Prozac. Every 5 minutes I'd get that stupid "Performed an Illegal Operation" message pop up. And, going for help to Microsoft's Website is a lot like pounding sand. Anyway, I was very pissed, and contemplating drastic action involving. . . (gulp) FORMATTING the problem away. I saw an Ad for Neoplanet somewhere, so I went to their Site: http://www.neoplanet.com and downloaded their free Browser. Guys, all I can tell you is:

it's better, a lot better! Go and see for yourselves. http://www.neoplanet.com

I can't figure out why Microsoft has not bought these guys out for $63,000,000.00 Plus, it's the only place on the Web where you can get a new skin.

Hey! I'm famous! KCTS, Chancel 9, a Great PBS TV Station in Seattle, Washington. USA included a recipe of mine in a "Quick & Easy" cookbook they are publishing. I sent my "Dale's Happy Halibut" recipe to them over the Web, they liked it & put it in the cookbook!

KCTS has a good Website, check it out: http://www.kcts.org/

If you want a copy of my recipe, let me know, and I'll send it to you.



The Face on Mars http://www.mufor.org/cydonia.htm

There's a lot of speculation about this face on Mars. I may as well clear up this mystery:

Excerpt from Disney and the Martians: http://www.lottomars.com/disney.htm

The Walt

Next to The Three Stooges, the human that Martians most admired is Walt Disney. That's why, for 7,750,063 years, the Supreme Rulers of the Elder Race of Martians were titled: "The Walt." The tallest mountain on Mars: Olympus Mons, is only the base for a statue of Walt Disney that was 320,028 feet high. All Martians made a pilgrimage to this statue of Mr. Disney, three times in their life-time. Sadly, this magnificent statue was totally destroyed, 63 Million years ago, during the terrible "Goose Fad" disaster on Mars.

This is the face of Walt Disney from this statue! Blown up 63 million years ago, the face has survived. After all this time, ravaged by all those years of relentless Martian erosion. It's good to know that some artifacts of the Elder Martian civilization are still there.

Hey guys, see ya next month!


Hi Everybody! It's been a slow month for our club - only about five new Members. But - still, we are up to 76 Members after being around for one year. Yes, April 1st was the one year anniversary for the fantastic Lottomars Club (hmm. . . interesting date) The Site got about 5,500 visits during the year. Probably 500 "hits" are mine - making sure it was working okay. A total of eleven truly wise and obviously gifted people actually paid the $1.00(US) fee to enter the Lottomars Random Draw to have a chance to be the first person on Mars. I guess not everyone knows that independent scientific studies have shown that entering this draw can improve reproductive performance by 17%.

There's some new stuff on the site: We are now giving an Award: "The Lottomars Strange Science Award."  at: http://www.lottomars.com/award.htm all we need is some nominations - so send in your picks!

AND. . . _THE LOTTOMARS MAILROOM_ Yes, even our Club is giving out free e-mail. You can be the only Kid on the block and one of the few people in our Universe will the fantastic Lottomars e-mail address: yourname@lottomars.com I like it - as I can give out free e-mail addresses to my friends and family members. You get to LOTTOMARS MAILROOM from the Lottomars site. One thing though, if you change your e-mail address, LET ME KNOW, so I can up-date your info. Okay?

The Lottomars Site gets about 30 visits a day. This can change quickly. It all depends on which sites are linked to us. I try to promote our site whenever I can. There is something developing lately. Other sites are linking to us and I didn't request it. It may be some of you are telling others about our Club, or it's just someone linking to us because they like our site. It's interesting to see this happen.


It's a simple one this Month. One of our new members, David Onley from Colorado, came in from this link:The Mars Society - http://www.marssociety.org I like this site & it's well worth a visit.

I'll see you all next Month!

Warm regards, Dale



Hello Boys & Girls. . . did you have a good month? Our Club sure did! We are
now up to 70 members - or the equal of two full platoons complete with NCO's.

There's been major changes to the Site, added three Quizzes; An
Entertainment, Classic, and Movie Quiz. Our Club earns money when
someone goes from our Site to the Quiz's Site. Hopefully we will make
enough to pay InterNic fees. I've taken out some pages; "First Words on
Mars", "Gift Membership", "Finkout on a Martian", "Oracle of the Web",
and "Be our Club Wizard". They are all on a new page called "Oldstuff"
http://www.lottomars.com/oldstuff.htm but I've disabled the forms so they
don't work anymore. I got tired of real lame and/or obscene submissions.

I will continue with some promotional activity now that I have a little more
time for it. I just moved and I've shaved two hours a day off my drive to
and from work! I will be looking for ways to make our Site more entertaining
& ways to make the Site earn money. BUT, I want some help from all of you -
let people know about our Site/Club! If you have a Homepage, put in a link
to The Lottomars Club! And, if you have help or suggestions, please let me

Check out an excellent Site: http://www.cooltext.com they have a
"Cool" Logo generator that very useful.

All old Lottomars Club updates & Interesting Mars Factoids can be read at:
http://www.lottomars.com/updates.htm there is no link on the Site to this
page, so you have to go there from here.


I like this one! Found at: http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor

Life on Mars

Emailed to me by a friend.

Valles Marineris (MPI) - A spokesthing for Mars Air Force denounced as false
rumors that an alien space craft crashed in the desert, outside of Ares
Vallis on Friday. Appearing at a press conference today, General Rgrmrmy The
Lesser, stated that "the object was, in fact, a harmless high-altitude
weather balloon, not an alien spacecraft".
The story broke late Friday night when a major stationed at nearby Ares
Vallis Air Force Base contacted the Vales Marineris Daily Record with a
story about a strange, balloon-shaped object which allegedly came down in
the nearby desert, "bouncing" several times before coming to a stop,
"deflating in a sudden explosion of alien gases". Minutes later, General
Rgrmrmy The Lesser contacted the Daily Record telepathically to contradict
the earlier report. General Rgrmrmy The Lesser stated that hysterical
stories of a detachable vehicle roaming across the Martian desert were
blatant fiction, provoked by incidences involving swamp gas. But the general
public has been slow to accept the Air Force's explanation of recent events,
preferring to speculate on the "other-worldly" nature of the crash debris.
Conspiracy theorists have condemned Rgrmrmy's statements as evidence of "an
obvious government cover-up", pointing out that Mars has no swamps.

Comments, suggestions, flames, etc.

Thanks Everyone! Stay Cool & I'll talk at ya next month.

Regards, Dale


Hi Everyone!

We are now up to the incredible total of 61 Members. . . more than most
Tupperware parties! A lot of you have come in from a link on Excite: Weird
Sites. Obviously, you are intelligent and discerning individuals, to have
joined the Club. (and hardly not weird at all)

I'm still getting a _lot_ of SPAM as a result of my promotional efforts a
couple of months ago. The Web may be turning into some kind of Hucksters
What do you think?

Came across an interesting Site: Talk Net Radio http://www.talknetradio.com
It looks like they will develop a program that will allow you to broadcast
a "Radio Show" over the Net. So stay tuned for the: "Lottomars Radio Show"
live to you from Cyberspace - (I'm practicing already, see attached .wav

One of my semi-interests is nanotechnology, mainly because my favorite
Author: Larry Niven writes about it. Some of our fellow club members and
my "Six Degrees" contacts have started a Nanocomputing Site:
http://nanocomputer.org it's well worth having a look at and you may want
to join the "Dream Team."


Please take a Cybervisit to Mars:

(Mars, Pennsylvania)

LOTTOMARS CLUB UP-DATE: January 16,1999.

Hello Everyone!

Yes, yes, I know. I'm a little late sending this letter out to you all. I'm
sure that psychological counseling and/or mood altering drugs are available
to those of you that got "real stressed out" waiting for this fantastic
Lottomars Club Letter. I just started a new job and I'm busier than a one
legged man in an ass kicking contest! I really do enjoy doing these letters.
I don't know. . . but for some reason I feel like. . . DOMINANT - TAKE OVER
THE WORLD - EVERYONE MUST JOIN! (Where's that Prozac?)

We had a few more people join our Club - we are up to the incredible total
of 38 members! Eleven of you are wise enough to have entered the random draw
at only a dollar US. (cheap!)

Have you checked out that "Six Degrees" yet? There is probably someone you
know there already.

I have not done very much promotion for Lottomars lately. I'm still getting
a LOT of spam/junk mail from earlier promotional activity - I reply to all of
it with just my automatic e-mail signature. We did FINALLY get listed on
Yahoo, that took just about a year -and I don't know why. . . anyone out there have
a similar problem?

Found a Site where you can _ASK THE SPACE SCIENTIST
See: http://image.gsfc.nasa.gov/poetry//ask/askmag.html
Send your question to: Dr. Sten Odenwald: odenwald@bolero.gsfc.nasa.gov
But don't bug him! He's serious! I wonder if he's seen:
http://www.lottomars.com/nasa.htm ??

See some nice Sci-fi Art at:
Go have a look


Bre-X today reports a major gold find near the "Barnacle Bill" rock near
NASA's Pathfinder landing site. Report's from the company indicate that
because of low gravitational pull people and machinery require much less
effort to drill into rock than on earth. As a result production cost's are
estimated to be $35 per ounce. Bre-X acquired the claim's from Captain Wes
Les - the property owner, after meeting up with him in the united state's
"area 51" air force base, where he has lived since 1947 when he crashed his
spacecraft near Roswell New Mexico. Company official's challenge anybody to
prove that this huge gold find is a hoax.
See: http://web.idirect.com/~amunre/bre-x1

See you all next month!


Hello Everyone! It's been another good month for our Club! Some new Members to welcome to our club and we are slowly getting famous. We've received a couple of "awards" Ravi's Elite Site Award: http://www.netutopia.com/award/ and a SNIN Award Nomination: http://snin.com/index2.htm I've done some promotion for the club around the Web. This is as much fun as pounding sand. Also, I'm all of a sudden I'm getting a lot of Junk e-mail. I'll keep on trying to promote our Club, but I want all of you to get the word out too! I did some very minor up-grades to our Site: added a Quiz, and some small minor changes here and there that I can't remember. I've seen some real cool stuff around the Web, most notable: The Internet Factory, which is well worth having a look at http://www.internetfactory.com.au/index.html This Site looks so good, it may make me do a MAJOR up-grade to the entire Lottomars Club Web Site this Winter. I hope you all received the Christmas Card I sent you, and I hope you will send each other Holiday Season Greetings.




Yemenis Claim Ownership of Mars

Thursday, July 24, 1997; 11:09 a.m. EDT SAN`A, Yemen (AP) -- Three Yemeni men claiming ownership of Mars have filed a lawsuit against the U.S. space agency NASA for invading the red planet, the weekly Al-Thawri reported Thursday. It said Adam Ismail, Mustafa Khalil and Abdullah al-Umari presented documents to Yemen's prosecutor general which they said proved their claim. ``We inherited the planet from our ancestors who had lived on it 3,000 years ago,'' the Arabic-language paper quoted the men as saying in one of the documents. The U.S. National Aeronautics and Space Administration's Pathfinder spacecraft landed on Mars July 4. Its Sojourner rover has been exploring the planet and sending back photos and data for analysis. ``Sojourner and Pathfinder, which are owned by the United States government, landed on Mars and began exploring it without informing us or seeking our approval,'' the men said. The men demanded the immediate suspension of all operations on Mars until the court delivers a verdict. They also requested that NASA refrain from disclosing any information pertaining to Mars' atmosphere, surface or gravity before receiving approval from them or until a verdict is reached.

Maybe these guys claim ownership of Mars. . . but Phobos belongs to us! See: http://www.lottomars.com/nasa.htm

See ya all later, in 1999!

Regards, Dale


Hi Everyone! It's been a good month folks! We got some new members. Everyone is on: http://www.lottomars.com/links.htm As all Club Members must be like brothers and sisters, (I think it's in the fine print) send each other e-mail and get to know everybody. You are from all over the World! Check out Nimrod's Homepage: http://nim.cjb.net (it's very good) I got some time to do some promotion for our Site. It's tough to do if your like me and don't like banner ads. I will continue with this activity for a while. I found an excellent promotion Site: http://www.virtualpromote.com Also, I found a neat little tool that you will see on every page on our Site now: http://www.recommend-it.com people visiting our Site can recommend the Lottomars Club to friends. I've done some upgrades to our Site, nothing major, but if any of you wish to help or suggest anything, please let me know. The Lottomars Club is now "Gimp Approved" see: http://www.runningwithscissors.com/approved.htm Also, don't forget to get out and see that Meteor shower on November 17, 1998 it's supposed to be a good one: http://www.cyberpath.net/leonids/

"... It would seem as if worlds upon worlds from the infinity of space were rushing like a whirlwind to our globe... and the stars descended like a snowfall to the earth."

"... I heard a faint voice near my door, calling my name... beseeching me to rise, and saying, 'Oh my God, the world is on fire!'..."


Here are some Guys that are certain to have the REAL Martians suck out their brains and spinal cords: http://www.martianconsulate.com/home.phtml some time soon.


Stay cool Guys! See ya next month, Dale

LOTTOMARS CLUB UPDATE: October 22, 1998.

Ya! I've been busy! In the last month the Lottomars Site has had major updates. Lots of new graphics and sound background music, some of which is even appropriate. There's an Excite search engine in http://www.lottomars.com/linkpage.htm I've also been experimenting with interactive forms on some pages, see: http://www.lottomars.com/fwords.htm These are tough to make work the way I want as I have not learned a programming language ever. There is a counter on the Site now which will count all the millions of hits I MUST be getting. Last but not least, The Lottomars Club was Yahoo Internet Life's Pretty Strange Site of the Day for August 25, 1998 see: http://www.lottomars.com/links.htm (I found this out surfing last week)


It's not about Mars, but it's sure interesting! On November 17, 1998 there is going to be one heck of a Meteor Shower: The Leonid Meteors, debris left over from the Tempel-Tuttle Comet, usually has about 10 to 15 shooting stars per hour. This year Earth will get up to 5000 Meteors per hour. They are so small that (supposedly) there's no danger to us. Some Satellites could be in trouble if they are struck - hopefully all our phones and TV's will still work afterwards. So get out and see this spectacle, it's a once in a lifetime show! Oh yes, all Lottomars Club Members are required to watch the movie: "The Day of the Triffids" on November 16, 1998.


See: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0345328175/o/qid=909123143/sr=2-1/002-9913876-5750466

See ya all (I hope) next time, Dale


Lottomars Club Update - September 1998

Hi Everyone! Check out the new start page at: http://www.lottomars.com

Edgar Vadauskas has receives a: "HOTLC" (Hero of the Lottomars Club) award for his fantastic Lottomars Club Logo.  Ed is the second recipient of this award. Tajh Leitso was the first Club Member awarded a HOTLC for putting together the terrific Entry and Order forms used on the Site.

There will be lots of changes up-coming. I'm starting to get a handle on all the new stuff I needed to know about to have a 1st class Website. I need all of your opinion on something. . . I'm thinking of making membership in the Lottomars Club Free. Only those members that want to go in the random draw to be the first person on Mars will have to pay $1.00 US There has been only one person actually join over the Internet (you know who you are!) and I haven't put through his credit card charge yet. I have to wait 'till I have 50 charges to put through together. So please e-mail back and let me know what you think about free membership.


Interesting Mars Factoid

The War of the Worlds - HG Wells http://www.fourmilab.ch/etexts/www/warworlds/warw.html

[Jeff Wayne's Musical Version of "The War Of The Worlds" http://www.war-of-the-worlds.com/ is now on compact disk]

No one would have believed in the last years of the nineteenth century that this world was being watched keenly and closely by intelligence's greater than man's and yet as mortal as his own; that as men busied themselves about their various concerns they were scrutinized and studied, perhaps almost as narrowly as a man with a microscope might scrutinize the transient creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water ... across the gulf of space, minds that are to our minds as ours are to those of the beasts that perish, intellects vast and cool and unsympathetic, regarded this earth ...


The Federation of American Scientists is engaged in analysis and advocacy on science, technology and public policy for global security. A privately-funded non-profit policy organization whose Board of Sponsors includes over 55 American Nobel Laureates, FAS was founded as the Federation of Atomic Scientists in 1945 by members of the Manhattan Project who produced the first atomic bomb.

These Nuclear Nerds seem to be very concerned about Martians. As they should be! It is the duty of every Earthling to be on guard against those pesky Red Planet Rascals. Report any sightings to:


See ya next time!

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