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The Lottomars Club Survey


Relax and take your time. . . you'll conserve brain cells that way! Only click on the questions you want to, and that apply to you.


  • You've joined a Special Interest Group that is lobbying the US Congress to have Earth's magnetic poles reversed.

  • You have voluntarily eaten Brussels sprouts.

  • You like meteor impact craters.

  • The "Alien" movies didn't frighten you.

  • You favor an amendment to the US Constitution that would allow someone not born in the USA to be elected President.

  • You want our numbering system changed, from base ten, to base eight, because thumbs shouldn't count as fingers and because the words: "eight" and "cash" - sound the same in Cantonese.

  • You know what hydro hydroxide is.

  • You have a mini black hole in your lower intestine.

  • You like mutant coconut in your fruit salad.

  • You're not buying a Lottomars Club T-Shirt in the belief that your brain and spinal cord are perfectly safe. (You also run holding scissors)

  • You drive a Volvo.

  • You have the FBI's phone number in your address book.

  • You found a Travel Medical Insurance Policy that will provide coverage for you on Mars. Also on that day, the temperature in Hell was -5 degrees.

  • You are actually a Member of the Secret Service, but you can't tell anyone. . . even Tom Clancy.

  • You once saw a tree fall in the forest, but you didn't hear anything.

  • You believe in the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, and Quebec Separation.

  • You want the World to switch to metric time.

  • After the Amendment to the Constitution, you want Arnold Schwarzenegger to run for the US Presidency.

  • You are not worried about abstaining from reproductive activities during the up to three years of the Mars Mission.

  • You own a pair of thick wool gloves.

  • You think the Internet and World Wide Web are the modern equivalent of the Tower of Babel and soon the Almighty will act to confuse us all with some sort of divine alterations to HTML.

  • Your favorite literary character is Becky Thatcher.

  • You've never heard of CSIS.

  • You once saw two snowflakes that were exactly alike.

  • You've thrown a Brussels sprout against the wall and it stuck there.

  • You've played Pool while sober, and for money, against someone who was named after a City.

  • You once ate something that was bigger than your head.

  • You've never had small itchy body pets.

  • You often stand barefoot in the kitchen thinking about steam locomotives going through tunnels in the Rocky Mountains.

  • Your Pre-nuptial Agreement had a clause containing the words: "maraschino cherries and whipped cream."

  • The main and defining philosophy in your life is: "I eat, therefore I am."



Lottomars Club Membership Number:

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