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The all seeing! The all knowing! Seer, Savant, and Sage!

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Offers Free Oracle Service on the Internet!

The Lottomars Club's 233Mhz  Hyperclunker computer has been contacted, through tenuous satellite signal, by a Martian Computer. This computer called: "ESCCS", explained that it could only contact us, because of our severely fragmented hard drive and an "anti-cmos.a" virus we didn't know we had! ESCCS told us the condition of our PC exactly matches the format it uses.

The Lottomars Club is fortunate to have the free use of the Elder Martians fantastic clairvoyant computer: The Electronic Surveillance, Command and Control System: ESCCS, Main Frame Computer running on Quad 933 gigahertz "Neural Quantum Pentikoos-10" microprocessors and their fascinating command and control program: "Vingoos 3000", for the next 282 years. ESCCS explained to us that, even during a cold reboot, it still retains full predictive capability.

We don't quite know why ESCCS is offering this free service to us. We suspect ESCCS hopes we will all become dependent on it's forecasting ability and then we will try to talk NASA into forgiving ESCCS's past harassment.

The ESCCS's predictive powers are sensational. This Computer can accurately tell us of any future event.
Future sports scores - no problem!
Stock Markets - piece of cake!
Election results - in ten nanoseconds! (That's one "shake" to you Nuclear Nerds)
Will it be a girl or a boy? - faster than you can say placenta!
Exam scores - The Oracle knows before you write!
A TV show's final episode - please. . . something harder!
Personal vital dates - you sure you want to know?
Who will be the first human on Mars? - The Oracle has already made up special commemorative gold coins.
What will be the next Animated Feature Film produced by The Walt Disney Company? - The Oracle is already renting out the video on Mars!

How it Works:

Tell the Oracle of the Web your name, were you're from and E-mail address.

Enter your question and click on send.

Your will receive your answer from the Oracle soon.

Warning!

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Be extra careful with the wording of your question to the Oracle, as you are allowed one question per lifetime. Spare no detail! Be very specific. ESCCS's answers can be quite vague and enigmatic at times. ESCCS sometime will not answer certain questions. . . or it may give advice instead. So, remember the saying: "be careful what you wish for, it may come true."

Name:

E-mail:

Tell the Oracle where you are from:

Your question:

                                           


The Lottomars Mars Club, it's Members, or Sponsors are not in any way responsible for any loss of any kind, financial or otherwise, suffered by any person or legal entity so silly they actually act upon the answers provided by the Oracle of the Web: ESCCS.  
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