|Who do you really wish sent to
It is now possible to purchase a Lottomars
Club "Gift" membership and entry in the random draw to be the first person to set foot on Mars. "Giving is
better than receiving" someone once said. . . Here is a way to show that your heart
is as big as Nebraska. Express your kindness and altruistic good will to others by give
them the gift of the possibility of going to Mars.
There must be someone you think is
- Your former employer, who fired you on the spot when
hearing that you had joined The Lottomars Club.
- Your Internet Service Provider, who promised 24 hour
technical assistance but does not speak any known Earth language.
- Your Automotive Sales Representative, who sold you a
used car with a live goat hidden in the trunk.
- Your Bank's Loan Officer, who laughed at you for ten
minutes straight after doing a credit check on you.
- Your Scout Troop Leader, who made you wear a canoeing
merit badge with a picture of the Titanic on it.
- Your Marine Drill Instructor, who still has a
toothpick holder, custom made from one of your lips.
- Your Town Dogcatcher, who somehow impounded
"Nemo" your Golden Retriever, when you thought Nemo was safely chained and
sedated in your basement.
- Your Paper Carrier, who is nicknamed:
- Your Dentist, who, during College, had a summer job in
Alaska drilling for oil.
- Your Grade Six Teacher, who made you write, "You
heard me," on the blackboard 500 times.
- Your Insurance Agent, who told you that theft of
personal possession from an automobile is only covered up to $250.00 - after the loss.
- Your Mechanic, who told you it would cost $49.95 to
replace your rear brake-shoes and then ended up charging you $625.95 for a complete brake
- Your Gynecologist, who always tells you about his
weekend spelunking expeditions during your examination.