Martians & Coca-Cola

Martians love Coca-Cola! Not only does Coke taste just like their own central nervous system, the 12-ounce bottle of Coca-Cola closely resembles Martians' mammary glands. Coca-Cola is one of the three requirements in the Martians' reproductive process. The second requirement is dancing the: "Twist." Sadly, their last Chubby Checker record has a skip in it. Because of this, there have been few Martians born naturally in the last four years. The third requirement is at least three Martians.
The Martians are Cannibals by preference. They will walk right past a Human to suck out the brain and spinal cord of another Martian. This is why most Martians will carry several bottles of Coke with them always, it's a survival trait. Coca-Cola's sales marketing strategy for Mars is kept in a file labeled: "Shooting Fish in a Barrel."

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The Lottomars Club Member chosen to be the first person on Mars will be taking along a large supply of Coca-Cola. Next to the incomparable Lottomars Club T-Shirt, a bottle of Coke will protect your brain and spinal cord from Martians the Best. When the Martian pops up out of the sand next to you and exposes a vacuum cleaner like appendage. Give the Martian a nice cold and refreshing bottle of Coca-Cola. The Martian will gently take the Coke from you and say, "Barsoomer!" (Martian for: Thank you, Mommy!), and go away.
The Coca-Cola Company feels sorry that the Martians have to manually twist their own DNA. They are currently searching for another Chubby Checker record on Martian's behalf.


The lucky Lottomars Club Member Chosen to go to Mars hopefully can deliver the Chubby Checker record to the Martians, while wearing Lottomars Club T-Shirt, of course!
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